As we move into the final weeks of work before the holiday period begins, I wanted to reflect on some learnings from the last few busy weeks of work and travel:
Feeling festive feels different for everyone. As I leave my first sober conference week and approach my first sober Christmas I’m saying “no” a lot more than I expected – putting my boundaries up has been hard but essential. Life preserving.
Remember, everyone approaches this period with different feelings, backgrounds and needs and that’s OK – respect someone’s “no”, someone’s lack of jubilation, someone’s need for space or alone time.
Ask your colleagues how they’re doing before you ask them to do something. Not only is this time of year different for everyone, it’s also rife with illness. I’ve had several colleagues fall sick the last few weeks and it made me refocus project deadlines and assignments. I asked myself “does this need to be done now?” and “does this need to be done by X person specifically?”.
Your staff are human beings and need rest more than you need to tick of tasks before the end of the year.
Be honest. With yourself and with others. I opened up to colleagues about my addiction, sobriety and recovery while traveling and was met with the warmest hugs, love and support. I shared sober dinners with coworkers talking like we were life-long friends and deepened relationships “beyond the water-cooler”. Honesty gave us the friendship and solidarity we all needed more than we knew.
I came back from traveling exhausted. I literally collapsed on the floor mid-walk (would be embarrassing if it wasn’t alarming). I told my manager and took a couple days off and slept 30+ hours. I still push myself too hard at times and I need to be honest about that. I’m a work in progress, not perfection, and being honest with others has helped me be honest and accountable to myself.
Meditate, reflect, and pause. Wherever I am in the world – I have meditation. Two weeks ago in Las Vegas amongst 60,000 tech people, I meditated in the hallways of a busy casino before my session. On the plane to Toronto when I couldn’t sleep, I meditated. After a wonderful weekend with my close friend and her family, I meditated on the love I’d experienced. Meditation centres me and keeps me grounded. Grateful.
I may feel like I don’t have time, but I do. Five, ten, twenty, sixty minutes eyes closed, legs crossed, counting breath and letting go. Meditation gives me time back I would’ve spent in mental torment, low mood, not present, not experiencing life.
Gratitude lists are more than daily reflections. I’ve been back to daily gratitude lists since I chose sobriety in September and it’s become an essential part of my recovery. It fills me with hope. I share my list with someone each day and read many fellows’ lists in return. That brings me joy.
I tend to start with “minor” gratitudes like:
- I’m grateful for my morning coffee
- I’m grateful for the way my dog greets me when I come home
- I’m grateful for clean bed sheets
- I’m grateful for good hot sauce
- I’m grateful for oversized hoodies
Most days, I have bigger gratitudes:
- I’m grateful for a job that allows me to work from home
- I’m grateful for a manager and team that support my recovery and openness
- I’m grateful for my online community and Pathways Collective members
- I’m grateful for a roof over my head and food on my table
- I’m grateful for supportive friends and family
Every day for the last 85 days:
- I’m grateful for another sober day
and, for that, I am grateful.
Don’t wing it. Plan. Prepare. Prioritise. The final days of the working year are busy, then family plans pop up, present buying and giving, friends want to check in before they head home, alongside day-to-day tasks, life admin and routines.
“Most people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan” (John J. Beckley).
The more you structure your days, the more time you’ll have for yourself. This “life hack” is the single biggest foundation of my conversations with clients at Pathways Collective, and will be my passion project for years to come.
Buy yourself that productivity planner you’ve been ummm-ing over. Book those personal trainer sessions. Order those gifts sitting in your wish basket (you still have time). Put those dinners, house visits, walks and coffees in your calendar so you give enough time to each person – and yourself. Organisation is sexy. Productivity is achievable for everyone.
Get on board and own your time for 2024.
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