Over the last few months, I’ve been reflecting on the theme of investing in yourself…
- Why do we need to be so explicit in our commitment to personal growth and learning?
- Does the popularised “self care” movement count as self investment?
- Where does the personal in personal development come from?
- What’s the difference between doing something for yourself and investing in “you” (me)?
- Are there people who really don’t invest in themselves? Ever?
Often, I’ve felt as though I’m someone who’s commitment to learning and self-improvement was obvious. Throughout my life I’ve always had a budget for books, enrolled in some course or programme of development, been in and out of therapy, joined a fitness club or gym, etc., so surely I self-invest?
At the moment, I’m no different. Over the weekend I bought three books; two for peaceful bedtime reading (I read a LOT of non-fiction, and I’m sick of having dreams about Tim Cook, the Chinese/Japanese/US or EU government, Silicon Valley, banks, or whichever celebrity biography I’m on that month) and one for anti-inflammatory cooking, I spent time dedicated to Blockchain learning, I practiced Mandarin, took a lot of space to rest, do healthy food shopping, clean my apartment, walk my dog and checked in on my budget and finances.
Though it feels different. No longer am I purchasing courses, therapy or gym passes because I feel I should. Because that’s what “successful” people do. To fit in with a group I desperately wanted to be a part of but doesn’t really exist. Whether you wake up at 5am or not doesn’t matter (I wake up at 5am three times a week, but I’ll be honest, I’m not doing my Blockchain learning then…).
I’m doing it because I love myself.
Investing in yourself out of love feels incredibly different, despite appearing the same on paper.
When people say they had “no idea” someone was struggling, they often mean this because from the OUTSIDE someone appears to have it all, or have it “together”. The house, the partner, the family, the education, the money. Or they have been “investing” in themselves; staying active, eating well, looking good, learning something new, working hard,…, keeping up APPEARANCES.
Here’s some ways my recent investments differ from similar ones just a few years ago
| Investments because I should | Investments out of love |
| Learning how to build a website I did this because I felt I had to. I can’t work in tech and not know how to build a website can I? How can I have my own blog and not build it from scratch? Despite knowing, from day minus 1, that I had no aspirations to become a web developer. I didn’t enjoy it, I’ve never had to do it beyond the first coding course I did in 2017, and I haven’t found it very useful for my day-to-day career. Do I regret it? No. Would I do it again? Also no. | Learning Chinese (Mandarin) I’ve been learning Chinese for a couple months. Despite only having concrete fluency in English, I understand Spanish and Serbo-Croatian to advanced levels and Portuguese to beginner. I decided to learn a new language because it’s been on my mind for a long time. I am born in the UK, my dad is from former Yugoslavia, my school taught me Spanish and I have many Latin friends, and I launched a product in Brazil. Chinese was a language I wanted to learn out of love. Love of culture. Love of working with companies in Greater China Region. Love of Chinese history and philosophy. Not because of immediate need, or because I “should”. It feels different, my motivation is greater, I’m picking it up quicker and I’m enjoying the process much, much more. |
| Renting in East London I moved here because that’s where my friends moved. Because I didn’t want to live close to home, but I was too scared to leave London. Because that’s where tech people live. Because I was afraid to have the door open in case it crashed in my face. And, it did anyway. | Renting in Brighton I moved here because of my heart. It felt right. Every bone in me called me to this place and I still can’t entirely explain why. I knew I’d learn something from being here, and I wasn’t afraid. It was the first decision in almost a decade I’d made based on my gut and it’s one of the best I’ve made. |
| AWS Certifications I hate certification exams. I don’t learn from them. They make me anxious, they’re expensive and they’re exclusive. When changing careers everyone told me to do them but I couldn’t afford it. When I started at AWS, they were free, but I still only did the certifications I had to for my role. One of my personal benefits moving to Global Sales Strategy and GTM was that I didn’t have to do the Solutions Architect Professional certification. I quite literally only did these because I was made to. | Harvard Business School Global Business Online Course Starting this week, I’ve invested all my work training budget into a Global Business Online Course with Harvard University. I’ve been working in Global roles for 5+ years and studied degrees in Politics and Social Research Methods, so have always been fascinated in the intersection between people, politics and business. Throughout my career, I’ve also developed an expertise for regulated markets and industries, which are profoundly impacted by people and politics. Enrolling in this course was about far more than CV boosts or certs, it was about formalising learning on a subject that has become central to my career and outlook on the world. |
| Every gym membership and ClassPass I’ve ever had I have never liked the gym. I love sports, but I don’t enjoy “exercise”. The only reason I do any kind of strength and conditioning training is so that I’m not injured doing the main sport I love. Despite that, I’ve wasted £1000s in gym memberships everywhere I’ve lived, until this year. I even started the search again recently before realising my 4x a week Muay Thai and 2x a week BJJ was probably enough… I’ll get some weights for home and a yoga mat. | Muay Thai and BJJ memberships, MMA retreat and Thailand mixed martial arts holiday Following my love of watching martial arts, and an urge to meet people and push myself out of my comfort zone, I joined a Muay Thai gym in Brighton & Hove. I fell in love instantly. With the sport, the people and the community. That spiralled into me applying for a MMA retreat in Thailand and extending that retreat into a near month holiday of training 6h a day for 3+ weeks with 2 days off. Upon my return, I signed up to a local BJJ gym and it’s now my life. If I’m not working (or blogging), I’m training. An investment in myself fully driven by love. Love of my body, love of my head and love of mixed martial arts. |
| Makeup and cosmetics I hate wearing makeup. I hate how it feels. I have zero interest in learning how to apply it. And, though I like how I look when I have it done, I would rather live Pamela Anderson’s new life than her old. This is with no judgement of those who invest in makeup or cosmetics of any kind. I get lash extensions from time to time as I like having a long lash look. Face makeup, botox or otherwise just never felt like me. I wore makeup because I had to. Bare face is my future. | Skincare That being said, I love skincare because I love my skin. I want to feel nourished, free of blemishes, glowing. I enjoy trying on different products and learning about the natural elements of food and skincare that impact how we look and feel. An investment in my face that feels genuine. |
| Pop culture fads, trends and TV shows Sorry, but the only reason I’ve ever watched Love Island, Love Is Blind, Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Queer Eye, Big Brother, Eastenders, Game of Thrones… is because everyone was talking about it. I sent the same gifs everyone was sending. I downloaded the sticker apps. I used slang because I thought I should. I ordered drinks because others were ordering them. Did I enjoy some of these shows/drinks/products? Yes. Will I keep sending stickers and making stickers of all my friends? Also yes. But, I’m no longer spending valuable time on something because I feel I “should” to be included, relevant or liked. Keep your mind open and up-to-date with what’s new, but stay you. | Books on philosophy, religion, and political biographies I love reading about deep, existential, dramatic theories and stories. I love the challenge posed by philosophers and religious leaders. I get lost in the world of history. Is it cool? Maybe not? Would I rather spend 60h reading a biography of Desmond Tutu or J F Kennedy Jr, than the latest series of Real Housewives (other than Potomac…)? Yes. You do you. |
| A fucking lot | A lot more to come… |
I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that investing in yourself is only investing if you’re truly doing it for yourself. Even within the realms of self-care I find myself wearing a face mask and putting my feet up because I’m told that’s what loving myself looks like, when I would rather be at the gym throwing kicks or listening to metal full blast in my headphones.
Check in with your motivations and align with your WHY.
Time is our most valuable and only constantly depleting asset. Invest it wisely.
Home 